Taylor Swift's Legs
With all the press around Taylor Swift’s US tour these past months, highlighted I think by her bonuses to those who made the tour happen, I couldn’t help but go back to something I wrote in 2019 about her legs. Yep, her legs. I can’t help but wonder what they are insured for now, and whether her voice is now insured as well. It still busts my chops that it’s a ‘thing’ at all.
May, 2018
OK, gather round. I was speaking with an intern last week whose friend works in specialty insurance. Being the curious type, I asked for more information. Here’s how that went:
“What is specialty insurance?”
“Oh, it’s when you insure something that makes you a celebrity … like Taylor Swift’s legs.”
“Taylor Swift’s legs?! Surely, you jest. Taylor Swift’s brain for writing songs, and her voice, and her understanding of how to perform I get — but her legs? You can’t be serious.”
I couldn’t help but think of that great scene in “Something’s Gotta Give,” in which Jack Nicholson’s character remarks on the attractiveness of Diane Sawyer’s legs, and says he can’t understand why she’s always hiding them under the desk in her job as a newscaster. Diane Keaton’s character replies, “I mean, she’s Diane Sawyer. She goes into caves in Afghanistan with a shmatte on her head. Who cares about her legs?”
The intern was serious: Her friend, who does insurance underwriting for these types of clients, defends the notion that Taylor Swift should insure her legs. Something about her concert performances …
“She can sit on a fucking stool and play the guitar; her legs have nothing to do with it!” I said, growing angrier by the second. “Call your friend, and ask him what things male celebrities insure. Ask him how much Brad Pitt’s biceps are worth!”
“You are overreacting,” the intern told me. “I’m sure Taylor’s voice is insured too.”
A day later, as we were walking together, she remarked, “I thought I should let you know that her voice is not insured.”
I just looked at her and rolled my eyes. But deep inside my soul, I recognized the awareness that there is something so very wrong with so much of what we hold valuable in this country.
Photo by the photographer, Peter Lindbergh.
Lol! And your brain!! In fact, that would be an interesting thing to look up--how many physicists and mathematicians and writers and teachers, etc. have their brains insured?
Oh, so typical that woman would become upset about a subject like this. Why do you think Taylor and other women wear micro mini dresses that practically expose their pudendum? It’s biology my angry friend! And there’s nothing wrong with it, per se. Yes, Taylor is talented, and there’s no doubt about it. It might be more upsetting if people were attracted to her because of her body, and then it turned out that she was a complete phony, and then had other people riding songs, which she claims as her own or that all of her vocals were auto tuned, or sung by another person. But that’s not the case. So she uses her body like most women do, even if they don’t intend to do it. It’s like the old saying goes: sex appeal might get you in the door, but if you can’t deliver the goods (whatever they might be - songs, scientific discovery, etc.) then most likely you’ll find yourself back out on the street. It’s the failed philosophy of feminism that tells young women (especially college age women): You can wear whatever you want to wear! Walk on any college camps today and you’ll see women wearing lingerie as outside clothing (thanks a lot Madonna!), push-up bras, come fuck me, high heels, rips, and tears that expose much and leave nothing to the imagination. But what these women and the feminists don’t want to acknowledge is: “ oh, dress like a streetwalker/prostitute, but you better be prepared for the consequences.” Now, having said that, if a woman wants to dress like that, in her private life, to go out clubbing or what have you, I basically would suggest that’s nobody’s business. I have no problem with it. But in a professional setting or a classroom can’t we suggest a little modesty?
Moreover, why are we talking about stupid shit like this when the world is on fire and we’re experiencing the last great environmental disaster?