Huddle up. In January, I started following the eagle couple Shadow & Jackie, bald eagle parents-to-be, clearly madly in love, as they renovated their home in Big Bear Valley, where a rolling camera gave us access to their every moment laying and nurturing the three eggs they created in their nest, with million dollar views of a majestic mountain range and valley.
Jackie rules the roost. When the weather gets bad, she refuses to get up and let Shadow shelter the three eggs, no matter how much he asks and tries to lure her away with their equivalent of ice cream and nudging and cajoling. During a particularly bad storm, she refused to move for more than 60 hours. He brought her food and stood by just in case.
They called to each other when nesting, and the response was immediate. Danger? The other was there in seconds to chase away a predator. Shadow brought food to Jackie, and he also seemed to be rearranging the twig and stick 'furniture' a lot, especially as he built up the nest in anticipation of the eggs hatching.
It never occurred to me this wouldn’t end with three chicks, mouths demanding food, and two proud parents teaching them the ropes during the coming months as we watched with pride, awe, and even wonder. Their commitment to parenthood 24/7 for three months leading up to the moment they were supposed to peck their way out of their shell casings was humbling and beautiful to watch.
It just never occurred to me it wouldn’t work out. I trusted them more than my gynecologist, who I trusted a ton to bring my fabulous child into the world. I really did.
The eggs never hatched. The gestation period started to expire and slowly, with the clock ticking down to ‘it’s no longer possible,’ we were stunned with the possibility that these two majestic, brilliant, fearless birds would not get the family they worked so hard to create.
Everyone is stunned. Heartbroken. Shocked.
They did not make a misstep, and the eggs just didn't hatch. Scientists tell the millions of us watching that it’s over. But Jackie and Shadow don’t know it yet. I learned that after a while, they will just leave the nest, possibly to come back another time and try again.
Jackie and Shadow mated for life. They will stay in the same area. They have had successful chicks before, so it’s not on them. It just is and they will continue with their lives, and I have no idea if they will suffer from this loss the way we are. But judging from watching the love and attention they gave to it all, I believe they will.
I’m heartbroken. I posted that they should turn off the cameras and let Jackie and Shadow have the privacy I would want if this were me. Just turn them off. This is not our part of their journey to watch. The last few days before they figure out it’s not to be. I can’t help but think of The Truman Show at this moment, but I don’t want to go there.
I want to tell you that I learned more about love and commitment and discipline in the last few months from my dear friends Shadow and Jackie than anyone in my posse for the last whatever years.
They are icons in my life. Larger than life.
My heart is broken, but I also think they will go on with each other and take it better than the rest of us. Other species accept nature and the end of life, even before it begins, better than we do. Yet another lesson.
Soar like the eagles you are, J&S. And, if you are in the area near me someday in Maine, use one of the trees at my house as your own. I would love to have such fine creatures as you as my neighbors.
Beautifully said. Too bad humans can’t be more like animals.
What an amazing thing to watch I love all wild life but bald eagles are simply beautiful ❤️ and so intelligent it truly blows my mind and the love they have for each other is honestly beautiful let's hope for eaglets next year. 🙏