The Perfect Handbag
I love handbags. I’ve been on the quest for the perfect bag for quite some time. Actually my entire adult life. It’s a cross between a briefcase – large enough to carry some files, maybe even my small computer – and small enough to not make me look like a moving van carrying things to and fro. It’s not easy and I find myself getting attached in the store, buying the bag and then it disappoints me. Then I give it away.
I once bought a handbag for $4,000. My bag broke on my way to a meeting and I ran into Bergdorf to buy one on the fly. I saw this Loro Piana bag on sale for $400, quickly bought it, transferred my ‘stuff’ and went on my late, merry way. When I got home that night, I took out the bill and saw that it was $4,000 and change, not $400 and change and immediately started to cry. My less honest friend, J., suggested I return it, but I am not like that. Actually, I might be like that, but I didn’t do it in this case. In addition, whose name is Loro? Lara? Laura? Tell the truth about your name, especially if you are going to charge thousands of dollars for a handbag. And didn’t you think that Loro was a female? “Guess again,” says my friend who worked there.
So, maybe I’ve bought twenty bags in ten years, and I still haven’t found the right one. Here is the thing. Now that I live happily in Maine, I need a bag with lots of outside pockets. I don’t carry my computer around in Maine, but I do still go to New York City and would like to use it there as well. So it has to go from Maine to New York City. Not an easy thing for me to traverse, let alone a handbag.
Back to the perfect bag. It should be nice leather, but not be so heavy. Can’t they ‘shave’ leather so you have the look but not the weight? I carry enough weight around without adding to it with the skin of another animal other than myself. I feel that way about shoes as well. They should not be heavy. Don’t you think your feet just groan when they see what you put on them? Sort of like, “Is she kidding me? Does she not know we are on the same team? Sheesh.” I know some feet think that.
Back to handbags, Christine, Bags. Ok, the bag should have pockets on the outside and not a black interior where your black wallet and iPhone with a black case get lost in the blackness and darkness of the interior of the bag. It should have a little hardware but not so much that you look like you parked a Harley in the parking lot downstairs. What is that all about? All the designers adding tons of hardware, keys to enter, and then fringe the length of my first boyfriend’s eyelashes that get in the way of things when you pick the back up. I had fringe on a bag last year, picked it up and the fringe tracked through my coffee and then onto my white shirt. I looked like I’d tie-dyed my white shirt with cocoa beans.
I saw a bag at Gucci last year and it was $45,000. I showed it to my friend and she said if I bought it she wouldn’t be my friend anymore. I don’t agree with her on things like movies and people, so I considered it, but truthfully, only a fool would pay that much money for a handbag. It’s insulting and it’s not about how much money you have. In addition, I don’t have $45,000 for a black crocodile bag.
I have asked around and I’m not the only one searching. I have friends who are facing the same quest for handbag perfection. I know one day I will find the perfect bag and carry it until it’s frayed and used in a way that says I loved it. We will be life-long friends.