While on vacation in Chatham on Cape Cod, I stopped by the waterfront and watched what I’m sure was a sailing lesson. I remember what they were like—out there on your own Sunfish, spending day after day racing as you learn to use the wind and come about and make your vessel a winning ticket.
I watched the four boats in the front, all on the same tack—and I watched the boat waaaay behind the others, followed by the instructor’s boat, which always trails the students.
I watched them for all of ten minutes, wondering about the one at the end, the last one by a long, long way. I hoped that whoever was on it was not feeling badly about themself. That they realized that whatever put them dead last (I think it was probably a bad start) was a one-off, and not an indicator of their future or even that moment in their life. That they pushed forward, resetting their goal to see how much of the gap they could close before the ‘finish,’ rather than focusing on the dead-last feeling.
Resetting the goal is a part of personal growth, or it has been for me. Knowing when to reset is an art. Focusing on the road ahead, rather than trying to rewrite what’s in the rear view mirror is the strongest way to win, in my view.
So, you win some. You lose some. You can still enjoy the sun and the amazing privilege of all that we get to enjoy as you live out your life.
It's not the end...it is the journey
My family went to Boothbay Harbor to a place called LInekin Bay, where the dining room was family-style and the focus was sailing. My dad used to race lightenings when he was young and we entered the week's end race at Linekin Bay, with great confidence. Dad as captain, Mom as First Mate and me as ...Swabby. There was little wind that day so Dad went off course to catch some wind and momentum, and we promptly sat still in the water for minutes. We finally got in, and came in dead last. My father was beside himself, although the only way we knew that was that he insisted on booking next year's vacation that day. We came back the next year and won the race. I never forgot that; Dad's competitive spirit drilled down to a tiny sailing race in a camping-style resort in Maine. Thanks for the reminder!