As I was reading, the voice in my head kept saying, “But that’s not me! I would never do those things!” And then I would realign myself as a human, with those other poaching humans, those humans who torture and maim. I want to walk away from being human, that kind of human. In this formulation, I can’t. I am human.

It makes me think of those friends who won’t walk away from being Republicans; even after they’ve seen the horrors done by those who supposedly share their beliefs and values. Taking children from their mothers some of whom are still separated even now. Taking away the support that lifted millions of children out of poverty, only to allow them to slide back in. What must that be like? “No. I’m sorry sweetie, there is no food tonight. Here eat this. It’s what’s left.” Or forcing 10 year old girls to stay pregnant. What does that even mean?! “I know honey. I’m so sorry you were taken advantage of [raped]. I’m so sorry you’ll have to let an [alien] baby grow in your womb, steal your energy, steal your life. [will you, my baby, survive this? Survive the birth? Only to be sentenced to a life of motherhood you’ve not chosen? To care for the spawn of your rapist?]

Yet somehow they can’t walk away, can’t stop being Republican. They say in their heads, “But that’s not me.”

So we go about our lives. We’ll do something different tomorrow. I’m not going to think about it.

Thank you for not being funny today.

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