I hate Yoga. No, I really mean I hate it. I hate the holier-than-thou attitude of those who practice it, and the way they insinuate that they are better inside because they do it. I hate the soft way people talk while they’re doing it. I hate that the teachers walk around the room and talk about breathing all the time, as if that is going to rid me of the results of the pints and pints of coffee ice cream I’ve eaten over the course of my lifetime. Everyone knows that if your breathing isn’t labored, you are not feeling the burn, which means you will not see results. Yoga people are thin, not because Yoga burns calories, but because they only eat things they have just pulled out of the ground.
Ha ha ha! If one more person tells me I should do Bikram and I have to explain to them that I can't leave my house on a hot day, I will lose my mind. Thanks for giving me the words!