The Kindness List Essay

So there I was sitting in my writer’s workshop, the topic of which was Essays. Who knew? Micro essays. Flash essays. List essays. Braided essays. Borrowed essays. I haven’t time to explain them all you now, but suffice to say that I can no longer say I’m an essayist, I have to figure out what kind. Yet another thing to add to my to do list. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

One of the exercises was to write a ‘list essay.’

Here is mine.

The Kindness List

If you can be anything, be kind. 

It’s almost a rule.

Seriously?

It shouldn’t be.

When I don’t need to be kind. 

1. I should not be kind to the person who cut me off last week in the parking lot and almost killed me. 

2. I should not be kind to Jeffrey Dahmer when I interviewed him and he said he regretted nothing. Ok, I didn’t interview him but if I had…

3. I should not be kind to the person who came to my office to spread a malicious piece of mis-information about a co-worker who is struggling.

4. I should not be kind to Trump if he calls me asking me for money. 

5. I should not be kind to the doctor who took a short cut that cost my friend her future. 

Guidelines for being kind.

1. I should be kind when I know someone did their best, and it just wasn’t good enough.

2. I should be kind when someone is in more pain than me and forgets to ask about my dying mother.

3. I should be kind when the woman with three kids doesn’t have enough money for her groceries and holds up the line. Yes, she gets my kindness and a gift from me so she can get the groceries.

4. I should be kind when I know that my kindness, the kindness of a stranger, will change the trajectory of their day. 

5. I should be kind when I can picture my friend in his childhood of hell and know he wishes he could be different in this moment, but can’t. 

Kindness is not an entitlement from you to another. It is not required every single time. It’s a thoughtful response when it doesn’t cost you your blood pressure or sense of right and wrong.